I think, therefore I am single

Yes, I know I haven't blogged in a while. But like you care, you know?

Nobody cares.

I'm all alone in this dark and dingy soulless world.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

k. moment's over.

Thing is, I'm blogging also, under this new URL - being on the law website. Its really cool. Called Lysergic Acid Diethylamide

5 points for those of you who can correctly tell me what Lysergic Acid Diethylamide is, and which are the two awesome bands they can be associated with.

All for now.

G'day!

Edit: It is nice to have someone to talk to, 's all am saying.
Weird coming from me, but I hope everyone finds love.

Mon premiere Accident de Voiture

For those lesser mortals, that, translated into english means "My first motor accident", which I had today (with self as causative factor). Of course, I have been in other accidents - one which I was in because of my sister, we hadn't indicated that we were turning to the right and then this guy in a luna was speeding, he banged into us and we lay on the footpath dazed and out of our senses. I had a deep cut down my right foot where I could see my own fat cells. (The one thing about accidents and wounds is that they don't actually feel so bad as they sound when you're explaining them to someone; so its more brownie points really) And my sister had this humongous gash down her leg, because of the scar of which she refuses to wear skirts and capris to date. Of course, I believe its because she doesn't find many to fit her, but you know, truth hurts. That explanation always works better.
*I love scars. According to me, they're sexy. I'd love to see a long, hollowed stain on my body - kinda like testimony to my pugnacity. Now don't say being in an accident is not pugnacious, because I know its not, but I like the word, and I like the rebellious quality the word implies. So there.*
We were taken to our house, and my mom went hysterical. They pulled me out of the auto and I suddenly became unconscious. Then, typically, I lay there slipping from my mom's hands and someone sprinkled a bit of water on my face and I regained conscious.
And then at the dumbass nursing home, sis had to get like 10 stitches, we were brought back home and we got a stream of visitors. Friends, acquaintances, relatives all of 'em called on us, and brought us flowers, chocolates et al. (See, that's what I was talking about)

But this post was supposed to be about my accident today - which wasn't really as interesting an incident as the one above.
For one, I skidded on a pile of sand while turning to the left, and went rolling into the sand and landed up in front of this house that rears cows and sheep. The owners came out, wondering who scared their precious bovids, and there I lay - beaten, in all glory. So yeah, it wasn't very nice performing for an audience of cows and sheep which got scared away, and for another, I did crash close to a friend's place, and I went over to clean up. Now, this guy is so sweet he always gives me chocolates when I go over, and makes his prided tea. I don't fancy the tea very much, but c'mon, Ferrero Rocher! But today, he didn't have any. Today, when I was so shaken, and gloomy bout my fall and riding skills.
And I haven't got my tetanus shot yet, so I might get the disease.

Ho-hum. G'day y'all.

p.s. I hate this post, 'tis shallow, unfunny and 'now-why-exactly-do-I-visit-this-blog' reputation marring, but do leave comments reiterating the same.

Got stuff

Oh my. Oh my.

The internet,
while 'tis a many splendoured thing;
lures me to it, like a wafting aroma
like a flying biscuit to a hungry dog
I want to, I try to, I fail, at
getting away. Far, far from this madding place

While my time-table beckons,
like medication to a sulking patient
while the 'things to do' pile up
by the hour, by the day,
I am wasting, wasting, blogging!

And all that it is,
all purposes served,
all praises showered,
the internet will kill me
if naught else.

the king is dead, all hail the king!

My Life List

Funny, that around New Year’s I should stumble upon a scrap of paper called ‘My life List’ which I’d written when I was fourteen. Inspired by ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’, I had prepared a comprehensive list of things which I’d wanna achieve, by setting myself a specific time. The colored italicised comments have been included by me, now. Oh woe is the cynic in me!

1. To Do:-
(a) Become 5’6” at least by tenth. (I have given up. No point at all, it’s genetic. I blame mother)
(b) Weigh 48-50 kg at 15, and 50-55 at 20 (umm...okaay then!)
(c) Let my hair grow till the waist without dandruff however long it takes.
(d) Clear my skin. (any tips, seriously?)

2. To read:-
(a) All the works of Shakespeare
(b) The books why, when, how, where etc., extensively and do a project on one of them.
(c) Time-life books that are at home.
(d) Histories of the world
(e) The biographies, autobiographies of great people.
(Some more to be added later)
3. To appear:-
(a) In a fashion show for my mom’s boutique (she’s closed it down now)
(b) On stage nationally, or internationally singing (no joke. This I will do)
(c) In some national/international quiz show.
(d) To star in a movie or video. (anyone auditioning? Mail me!!)

4. To achieve:-
(a) Typing speed of 55 wpm. (achieved! Thanks to internet)
(b) Plant at least 1000 trees before I’m 20 (all I can say now is “yeah, right”)
(c) Live without T.V. for a month (achieved! Thanks to internet)
(d) Get first rank somewhere, before I’m 20 (waaah!!:-( )
(e) Live without chocolates for a whole year
(f) Live without ice-cream for a year
(g) Get my poetry published in a book
(h) Get more than 93% in every subject in the boards. (it was close, but don’t see chances of even a near deja-vu now)
(i) Earn enough on my own, to buy a watch before I’m 15. (still counting)

5. To study:-
(a) Get a degree in some foreign University.
(b) At least 10 languages. (not so difficult really. If you count knowing how to say “hello” and “thank you” as knowing the languages)

6. To get:-
(a) /own a farm house.
(b) Rid of my specs someday (yaay!! Huzzah for lens! And mom’s overflowing coffers)
(c) A steady boyfriend – start my search around 17. (actually, {ooh!})
(now, what I meant by that, you can guess)
(d) One true friend. (I see now that I’m not the type to keep one, so that’s outta the window)
(e) In touch with all the people I know. (really, I was so much wiser then)

7. To clean:-
(a) My room once and for all so that its never dirty before 2002 ends. (is it 2006? Already?)
(b) The rubbish next to my house (well, the parthenium does stuff to my skin, and I really don’t like the
smell…)
8. To write:-
(a) at least 100 poems. (I seem to have used the phrase “at least” with utmost callousness!)
(b) The most funny plays. At least 8-10. (see??)


AND FINALLY, EVERYDAY, DO ONE THING THAT I HATE DOING. BUT IT SHOULD BE GOOD FOR ME.

P.S. (as is obvious I didn’t know what p.s. meant back then) Be proficient in wood carving, clay modeling etc..

Wham! - A confession?

I broke tradition in a big way this year; it was the first year in my life that my family didn't go out and party to ring in the oncoming year. Instead, we all stayed home like a bunch of old...i donno, non-party goers.
Ooh! Did i mention? I'm lovin the silence now. Silence, as in, not hearing myself speak. Not hearing anyone preach. Just listening when i want to know. I even find it cumbersome to open my mouth, to talk to strangers, people i'm not particularly fond of. Is my energy fizzling out? Am i losing what i found so novel, and cute about myself? Am I not cute any longer?

All i know is, i'm at peace with myself. I know what it is that i'm doing. And, boy, it takes a while to be able to say that to yourself honestly, and heave a sigh. All that i do, is to achieve some unseen, unpredictable end.
And i'm feeling so totally emotional.
I miss things being perfect. Even if they weren't, kill me if i sound weird, i liked saying that they were. So, if i liked it that much to deceive myself - it must've been something huh? It was a lot, to be so intimate so soon with a guy - share all secrets, speak about EVERYTHING under the sun. Well, almost. I miss knowing that i can screw up and snigger. Now, even if i can, the charm in sniggering is lost.
Its been a while since someone told me I was intelligent, or sexy (and truly meant it) and made me glow inside like i'd swallowed a lamp or something.
I guess i went wrong. I spoke the wrong things, bickered about the cheapest of stuff, was petty, timid, and so dull at times. I was everything i hated being, didn't want to be, but i REALLY don't know why that happened. Why things took such a bizarre turn, that i had to feel like that.
I wish i'd been more honest.
I wish i'd been more of a teenager, a normal, less schizo teen.
I wish i was better at handling moneys and stuff.
Fuck, it doesn't even feel like regret now. Just some stuff, like pending chores from yesterday. Things i know i will eventually have to do, will do, but will be pissed off, and depressed in the process of doing. Like now, I'm not depresseddepressed. Its gone far below, just to be a throbbing memory that resurfaces as a headache sometimes, but i still make jokes, poke fun, send my dumb girl classmates into fits of laughter.
In fact, i wouldn't wanna know me, if i was me. But then again, i can't do anything else, but this now.
I'mana make a better post in a while, maybe tomorrow. During the day tomorrow that is. Feeling so woozy.