i apologize - whether u like it or not.

i was wondering if i have enough sense to make the discretion between a private blog and one for the world to see, and i now realize i don't. So, preetika and if existent, any other visitor, please bear while i...let out.
It's actually by a great effort that i'm sitting myself down to type this out. and i dont think i'm gonna last till the point i wanna make.

I finally realized where we were different B, and it sort of saddens me that we didn't see that coming, and even if we did individually, we didn't talk it out so we could put it behind us. The two of you, if you've noticed, are much more cynical. And you think yourself strictly above some things, some of that strength you derive is from each other. Whereas with H and me, we don't entrust ourselves to each other. You remember you said, his problems might become my problems? well, they were, much before we met. We're pretty similar that way. We've given each other utmost freedom, so much so, even the slightest interference is deemed unhealthy. You might scoff at it in all probability - but i've seen you guys, and i've seen where your inherent weakness lies; i'm real sorry but i wouldn't wanna trade.
After my conversation with N today, i sought an answer to the question making rounds in my head - either way, one of us is gonna get hurt. If i come on so defensive, that it actually offends, you get hurt, but if i shut up and let you go on, i'll be real upset. I don't know if this is the way it should be.
And by all means, you shouldn't be reading this; you were part of an experiment that went horribly wrong. Horribly. But, my curiosity did get the better of me - i'm sorry, whether you like it or not.