I was, as I'm afforded the rare privelege of sometimes, surfing the net and reading some blogs that I hopped along on with links and such. There were jounal entries there, heart-wrenching tragedy stories and people piping up with acknowledgments, and what's more, claims that 'their' story is exactly the same.
I've led a happy life, everyone. Yes, I've had tales of domestic violence - but somehow, I feel not quite in the usual direction. There were taunts and tirades, but the final blow-up would even things out, where might was right and mother's not particularly weak. Something happened to me these past months to block out the impact of any pain of those fights I've witnessed and incidents in the back of my mind as a painful reminder of reality and things like that. But I don't feel the pain I used to, anymore. I remember having talked about it with four different, and close people in my life and it all resulted in my exaltation as the bearer of pain - but after a year here, heck the memories aren't there almost.
I thought extensively today about the rigidity in my jaw. How characteristically it's taken its place in my face after all those years. I used to be really quiet and observant back in kindergarten and a few years after. I remember because the people I used to travel in the auto to school with would treat me like a statue, call me stone and make jokes about the silence and rigidity.
I've chubby cheeks and victorian features (fair-skinned, full lipped and curly brunetted) and I've noticed that my attitude couldn't be said to suit my face. But yeah, I do have bigger problems than that, thankyouverymuch. It just feels a nice mix, and an odd botch-up of things like values, perspective and my life; to have to treat a face-attitude anomaly like some "real" problems people have.
It's absurd. And that's my flavour for the season.
Thanks to TC (couldn't find anything closer) , for the dramatic introduction to the concept.
